You will become a respected platform medium if you STOP doing these 5 things.

Everyone has their favourite stopping strategy.

Everyone has their favourite stopping strategy.

That one excuse that seems so valid, and so convincing, that you abandon your big, scary goal and retreat to the safety of the familiar.

My pet stopping strategy is discouragement.

If I feel discouraged, accompanied by the thought, ‘No one cares if I do this. If I don’t finish this, it wouldn’t matter to anyone,’ I am guaranteed to lose heart, down tools, let the dream fizzle out, and start getting distracted by other (safer) things.

Unless I have someone actively encouraging and supporting me, to whom I am accountable for my actions, I start convincing myself to let go of a much-wanted thing.

I am not a capable ‘finisher’ when I’m going it alone. I am always bested by the melancholic power of discouragement.

I know that now. And I have taken steps to stop stopping.

I no longer embark on anything important without support and accountability. I require someone to lovingly kick my butt and celebrate my wins. Someone who I have to report to. Someone who will not let me wriggle and squirm out of my painful and difficult desires.

Someone who genuinely cares that I succeed.

I don’t always succeed, but at least I have the self-awareness that I’m vulnerable to stopping.

Many people go through their lives with a dream in their heart, but when the going gets tough, they believe their stopping strategy, down tools, and set themself back to square one. And so it repeats for the rest of their lives.

Don’t do that. If you can at all help it.

Public speaking is one of the most terrifying and divisive dreams going.

The same person both desperately wants to take to the stage, and desperately wants to NVER EVER SPEAK IN PUBLIC.

To get up on a stage, of any kind, and speak, often triggers an all out war between your dreams and your stopping strategies.

And there is even more at stake if your preferred form of public speaking is mediumship, because you cannot prepare what you’re going to say.

For most kinds of public speaking, you should plan a speech, write it out, and rehearse it until it sounds natural.

You can’t do that with mental mediumship. You must turn up UNprepared. The best communication with spirit is characterized by spontaneity, and being in-the-moment with the spirit world.

Sometimes, you will have to get up on stage, in front of a hundred people, and you will not know what is about to come out of your mouth until you open it to speak.

If the very thought of that is making you ill, even though you desperately want to do platform mediumship, then congratulations, you have just met your stopping strategy.

Our stopping strategies usually speak to our childhood wounds and vulnerabilities. It can be difficult to identify them, to acknowledge them, and to change them.

My advice is not to battle against your stopping strategy, but to acknowledge it with kindness. It is, after all, just trying to keep you safe.

Here are 5 common stopping strategies. You may find yours among them.

1. Playing Small

Hiding. Staying inside your comfort zone. Reading for the same 4 people every week. Calling yourself a fledgling after 15 years sitting in circle. Hiding may feel safe, and maybe in the past you had to hide from something (or someone) scary. But these times are not those times, and, as they say, ‘the timid are caught as often as the bold.’

Put yourself forward for opportunities outside your comfort zone. Work with unfamiliar sitters. Get out from behind your computer. Make a ritual of doing one brave thing per week with your mediumship.

2. Believing You’re Not Special

If, somewhere in the past, you got the message that you shouldn’t outshine your sibling, or you were accused of thinking you’re better than family for being successful or good at something, you may have learned to hide your light under a bushel. Getting up on stage and speaking symbolizes that you have something to say. Past conditioning may make you deeply resistant to doing this.

The tallest poppy may sometimes get cut down first, but the tallest poppy is also the first to be admired.

Mediumship is an interesting and unique ability. You are allowed to shine, and you’re safe to be the tallest poppy.

3. Procrastinating

No, the laundry is not more important than your platform mediumship.

No, you don’t have to clean the whole house before you can sit in meditation.

No, you don’t need one more certificate or qualification before you can stand up to speak.

Procrastination is fear of failure, and fear of not being good enough.

But time is short. Every moment you delay getting up on platform, moments for connection and healing are lost. You are ready, you are good enough. Confidence will come from the doing. You don’t get to be confident first. You have to do it scared.

4. ‘I don’t have time.’

I have an almost 3 year old, and a 14 month old. I am up to my neck in nappies, tantrums and guilt (and love, of course!). There are a great many things I simply do not have time for. I totally get that your life is busy too.

However, only you are able to discern if you truly don’t have time, or if this is an excuse. Were you criticized for your priorities in the past? Do you worry about being selfish? Were you taught that your value is in how much you sacrifice for others?

If so, time poverty may be your stopping strategy. What you’re really saying is, ‘I feel bad spending time on myself, doing something that’s important to me.’

Can you find just one hour per week to work on your platform mediumship? One hour may seem like not much. But it’s a world away from zero.

5. Failing to Follow Up and Follow Through

Do you avoid responding to opportunities that drop into your DMs? I bet if you went through your emails, your first (or next) speaking opportunity would be in there.

If you avoid opportunities, you may have the ‘lone wolf’ wound.

This wound settles into your heart when someone close has disappointed you. And now, you’re scared to trust and collaborate with others.

You can be discerning when it comes to opportunities. No situation requires that you be all-in or completely out. You can take the next available step until either trust or doubt reveals itself.

Try saying ‘yes’ to a small opportunity to demonstrate your mediumship. Something free, something with 10 guests, something mutually beneficial. Take small steps to build up that trust muscle.

Well, that’s it for now. I hope you enjoyed reading about ‘stopping strategies’. And I hope, the next time you pump the brakes while going for something important, you’ll think, ‘wait, why am I stopping?’ And you’ll be able to recognize that your stopping strategy has taken the reins and you maybe need some support and self-compassion to get back on track. Slow down. Snail’s pace is allowed. Snail’s pace is preferrable to stopping altogether.

Ps. If you are an intermediate - professional level medium, and you want to begin or improve platform mediumship or audience readings, then I invite you to enroll in my new course, Platform Perfection. For 9 weeks, I’ll teach you everything you need to know to present your mediumship to audiences. Culminating in a live audience dem at our graduation party. Tap the button below to find out more and sign up.