Rejection: A Birthday Treat

On Thursday last week it was my birthday. I am 36 years old.

On Thursday last week it was my birthday. I am 36 years old.

I spent a wonderful birthday weekend with family. And I was spoiled rotten with gifts and treats, (including a new Vivienne Westwood bag which I shared over on my Instagram!)

There was one gift I wanted more than anything else on my birthday:

To receive a rejection from a book agent.

So far, I have shopped my proposal for my new book out to around 20 agents. It’s often a long wait to hear back from them, if you hear back from them at all.

It might seem strange to want to be rejected, but I know that every no is bringing me closer to my YES. And that YES will mean a great relationship with a wonderful agent that I’ll work with for many years on this book, and the ones to come.

The pitch process is an exercise in rejection.

So often we actively, or subconsciously, avoid situations where we risk being rejected. Those same situations are often where our loftiest dreams, our deepest desires, and our most purposeful pathways reside.

Rejection is the gatekeeper of dreams, desire, and purpose.

It is only by befriending rejection, preparing ourselves for it, and seeing it as a stepping stone to the big YES! that we dare to embark on the most important journeys of our lives.

As long as we fear rejection, we avoid it. We continue to wish, visualize, and imagine from the safety of our couch, never taking any real action.  We experience no risk, but we sacrifice reward. We settle, instead, for an imagined simulation.

Learning to embrace rejection is one of the skills that has made the biggest positive change to my life. It has served me well in my mediumship, allowing me to speak up about specific information from spirit, rather than worrying about getting it wrong. It has enabled me to ask for what I want from a relationship, creating a wonderful partnership with my fiancé who will soon be my husband. And it has empowered me to ask cheeky questions, and put myself out there where others would sit on the sidelines, longing.

Embracing the reality that I will be rejected is how I got my book deal with Hay House. I walked up to Dr David Hamilton at his book signing, pitched my book idea to him, and asked if he would write the foreword for me.

I had not realized that my pitch was overheard by Michelle Pilley, CEO of Hay House. And that’s how my book deal came about. :)

I was terrified. I was shaking. But I did it anyway.

The key to embracing rejection is exposure. Expose yourself to rejection little and often, to build up your tolerance.

Ask for a little extra cream on your mocha-choca-frappe-thingy.

Ask your child to help you with a chore.

Ask your colleague to cover for you so you can have a day off on your birthday.

As an author, I’ve learned that it is not the number of yes’s you get, but the number of no’s you’re willing to tolerate, that best predicts success.

If you are willing to take 100 nos, you will get a yes.

If you willing to take ONE no before you give up and hide, then you will never get your yes.

When Hay House were interested in me, I pitched a different idea to them at first. I wrote a proposal for a book called The Student Saviour, which was a guide to surviving University without burning out.

Hay House rejected it because they said it wasn’t aligned with what my audience knew me for.

If I had recoiled in response to that rejection, I never would’ve written The Medium in Manolos, which ended up being published by Hay House and read by many!

So this is your call to embrace rejection!

Where are you recoiling from rejection? Where could you push through and lean into it instead, to claim the rewards on the other side?

How could you put yourself out there this week, and expose yourself to a little rejection?

I’d love to read your ideas in a comment!

Ps. I received a rejection from a book agent at 10pm on my birthday - yay! I am one step closer to my big YES.

Pps. Have you read my book The Medium in Manolos? If you enjoyed it, please give it a 5 * review on Amazon. I will be choosing two reviewers on Friday this week to win a reading with me valued at $300.