Ready to quit.
I glanced at the two untouched glasses of water on the kitchen table, then at the clock on the wall, then back at the water.
They were 30 minutes late.
I sighed, got up from my kitchen table and poured the water away.
They weren’t coming.
Ten years.
For ten years, I gave mediumship readings without a single no-show. Now, here I was pouring their water away.
Again.
I was having a crisis of confidence in my mediumship, and the spirit world and I were not getting along.
And the harder I tried to improve the situation, the worse the symptoms became.
No-shows were the least of my worries. I went many years without a request for a refund, then I had three in a row.
I felt trepidation and anxiety about who would appear next for a reading.
My mediumship became rote, shallow, and uninspired.
And for the first time in my life, I felt drained by the very thought of giving a public demonstration.
I became convinced I’d used up all my mediumship. Gone. Drained. Kaput.
My eyes felt heavy. It was only 8.30 but I got ready for bed.
When I lay down, I couldn’t rest. Like a magician flipping a coin over his knuckles, my mind turned over the question of what I’d do, and who I’d be, in the absence of my mediumship.
I fell into an uneasy sleep around 2am.
I woke up the next morning with dark circles round my eyes. I got changed from one pair of leggings and a hoodie, into another pair of leggings and a hoodie - with all the gusto and relish of a sloth. I had no-one to serve, nothing to do, and nowhere to be.
I made myself a steaming hot pint of coffee. I slapped a teaspoonful of sugar in there before deciding on another half teaspoonful as a feel-sorry-treat to myself.
I slopped down on the couch and opened my emails.
SUBJECT: Thank you.
Hi Lauren
This is Andrea Campbell. You may not remember me. You came to my house five years ago to do a mediumship reading party.
I’m just back from the funeral of my friend Julie, and I felt compelled to write to you.
Julie was one of the ladies you read for at my reading party. You gave her a message from her mum in spirit saying that Julie should go to the doctor if she was worried about her health, and to stop putting herself last as her mother had done.
Julie took your advice and received a serious diagnosis. The doctor said they were able to treat her because she’d come just in time. Any later would have been too late.
Julie got five more years of life with her family because of you. I just thought you should know.
Best Wishes,
Andrea
I read the email twice. I tried to read it a third time through tears and a wet, snotty hoodie sleeve.
I remembered Andrea, Julie and her guests clearly. They were lovely people.
I felt sad that Julie had passed away, but I also felt energized by the presence of God’s grace in the message.
This wasn’t just from Andrea. It was a message from spirit reminding me that my mediumship does good, and that it matters to people. It was a letter from the Universe encouraging me to go on when I was ready to quit.
Not every reading is touched by the miraculous. Not every reading has the power to save a life or change a life. But if any can, then all readings are worth doing. The divinely synchronistic timing of the email was enough to bring my conviction back into sharp focus.
I just thought I’d remind you, in case you feel like quitting on your mediumship, or on something else in life that matters to you. The transformative power of your efforts take place out of sight, but they are taking place. Keep going.
Now, I’d love to hear from you. Do you need encouragement with something in your life or mediumship that you’re working on right now? Please share with us in a comment.